Monday, April 29


One Giant post, and Blogger ATE THE DAMN THING!
I'm too tired to do it again.


Saturday, April 20


With the husband gone this weekend, and the girls mostly at home hanging out doing chores and other yukky stuff, I decided we should have a night out to ourselves doing whatever we wanted. Fortunately that did not include shopping, because I would have killed myself right there. I hate shopping, I guess that's why I didn't give that as an option!

We decided to go out ant hit the theater. I have been eyeing "Panic Room" for a few weeks now and I found out that it was rated R for violence and language and not because everyone was naked and fornicating so we went. I have to add the disclaimer that it was a sad revalation that the violence and language didn't concern me as much as the sex. Oh well...... don't want to go there right now

The theater really is one giant rip off. I couldn't believe how much it cost for just the three of us, and snacks. The box office totals were $19.50, and the snacks were $13.25! Sodas were $2.00 each and with each of us getting just one item otherwise we were totally hacked. Good thing the movie wasn't a wash.

If you havent seen it, and don't want to know anything about it - STOP HERE don't read any further, I beg of you.

Nicole Kidman was to originally be the lead female role, but she was replaced by Jodie Foster after Nicole was injured.
After seeing the movie, I'm glad Jodie was in it. She is my definition of a hard ass female, I think Nicole would have been too "girly" and helpless-like.

What I didn't know, is that there are many houses (just none that I personally know of) that have these safe rooms built into the floorplans. It's pretty ingenious, however as in the movie the room was built into a 3's story bedroom which I thought was pretty dumb, as the electric and telephone would have to be run to somewhere, versus a basement room where it could be all underground and not accessible unless you had earth moving equipment.
Anyway - the movie was new, fresh and unique. I tire of the same genre of movies and this one gave me something different to consider for once. There were obvious plot errors, and the ending was dramatic but left me pretty flat.

I yearn to be drawn into what happens AFTER the ending of most movies..... did the couple get back together?......did the cop move to Miami and paint flamingos for yard art?...... you know, take me beyond what I know....END THE DAMN THING!

Without intending to, I try and end the movie in my head, or make the next plot move before it know, the kind of thing that ruins the whole experience.

The only movie I have ever seen that kept me totally guessing and completely enthralled the whole way through was
With Michael Douglass and Sean Penn. That movie was a one of a kind, I VERY HIGHLY recommend it next time you are at the video store, just make sure you can watch it uninterrupted.

I got the house carpet shampooed today, visited with several shepherd's who dropped in to see our new ram.....he's getting a lot of foot traffic into the barn, makes me wonder why. Is he that good, or is everyone just coming by to see the freak?
I don't really care I guess.

My husband should be back sometime tomorrow afternoon..... hopefully refreshed appreciative of all my hard work while he's been gone..... haa haa haa.. I'm sure we will put on a last minute sprint around here so it will look like we have actually accomplished something while he was off fooling around, but then again, why do I care? My first task to complete tomorrow is to sleep in...
I hate it when I go a whole weekend without sleeping in....
But to do that, I must sleep first, so ta ta for now folks, see you in the funnies.

Friday, April 19

Oy Vey

Whatta weekend.
Hubby is off golfing/cavorting with 10 or so friends a state away. This is the second annual trip of this nature.
While it's good to see him get out, and enjoy himself, I can't help but feel trapped and somewhat honked off stuck here doing all the menial chores and being the responsible adult. It's really not so bad, at least this way I can attack my weekend in the way I see fit, without having to work around other plans he might have made.

I had high hopes of getting all the sheep shorn, and now it looks like I won't get to the adults at all. Nothing is wrong with the equipment, or the timing, but I am rapidly losing any desire to accomplish anything and it's only Friday night. Gak.

I can do pretty well on my own, it's not like I cant function solo, but I did nearly have a major blowup that wouldn't have been easily forgiven. blowup- being the operative word there...

Our pickup has lost some sensor in the gauge department. Mainly the oil gauge. It wiggles and spins like a top. Not to worry, I thought, because it does it all the time. WRONG On a whim, I decided to be safe and check it, just to be sure. It is nearly 2000 miles befre it's due for an oil change, but something kept telling me to check to be sure...
She was 3 drops away from being completely dry.

Oil to a car or truck is a lot like blood to a person...when it's gone, or too low, death will occur rapidly. Immediate and irreversable death. My truck was coding.....flatlining. Good thing I called the EMS in time. Now next week, we get to see why it's using more oil than gas.....sounds like money to me.
Great - just what I need.

Tomorrow should be exciting....I have plans of cleaning carpets and trying to drag my sorry butt out to shear some more sheep. I have 10 done, 18 to go. bleck.
But what else do I have to do?
I'd kill myself completing it all if I thought that might score me some brownie/guilt points from the vacation man, but I know that's a FAT chance.
I just need to organize some type of retalliation weekend, girls only.
now thats a thought.

Monday, April 15

Sale of the Century

Oh my goodnessss.....
We had our very first, official, maiden voyage lamb sale on Sunday.
It was a last minute thing, some extended family (his side) were having a livestock sale that included pigs, lambs and goats.
We thought what the heck....why not.

The premise of this sale, was to be for the KIDS. Most sales are an ego trip for parents who want their kids to WIN so the livestock goes exceptionally high. Not that I have an aversion to money, mind you - but I thought this was a good idea. Take a few decent animals, get average money and everyone is a winner.

Well, as you know, most of my hairbrained ideas turn out in the end to have been hairbrained ideas.

We arrived, 6 lambs in tow, unloaded and waited for the buyers to arrive. They slowly trickled in here and there, eyeing the animals suspiciously as they shopped. We talked and marketed our animals not knowing exactly what to expect. Then the time arrived.

The auctioneer welcomed the first set of animals into the ring, hogs I believe, and everyone just sat and stared. "Gimme $50.00 as a starting bid" he offered. The crowd was silent. "$40.00..........?" "$30.00............................?" He finally got a hit at $10.00.
Then, he incrementially went up, dollar by dollar. They sold for $38.00

Now, those of you who know about these things, KNOW that it costs more to raise an animal than $38.00.
The breeders all were looking pretty nauseated.

Not too long after that, the PA system completely died. Imagine if you will, the cacophony of over 100 animals all bellowing together, and then try to imagine talking above the din.... It was nearly hilarious. BUT - being true to our committment, we stuck it out.

We had advised the auctioneer that we didn't feel we wanted to let anything go for less than $50.00 a head. We felt the quality we had available should bring at least $100.00, but we would take a hit for the kids.

Our first lamb through, brought the minimum bid of $50.00 - only because the family putting on the sale bought it out of embarassment because they had invited us......(yeah, you can laugh, it's funny) After all was said and done, we actually SOLD one lamb to a real live kid, and the family member who bought the other lamb didn't even want it, but insisted we keep the $50.00. So I guess you could say we did get $100.00 for the one we sold.

What a riot.

The best part, was that there were OTHER sheep producers there with more experience and "better livestock"( if you ask them)
and they sucked as bad as we did!!!!! It will be one of those group things where you just agree not to ever discuss what happenned again. It got so bad, that some, not to lose face, went out to the arena and bid their own lambs up! We didn't do that, that would be way too pathetic.

So we went, we made $100.00 and we left in a hurry. Not too eager to sell anymore that way.
I think from now on, I'm going to leave the high road for the independantly wealthy.
No more charity work in my near future.

Friday, April 12

Last post sounded incredibly cruel.
haa haa haa.
It's just life.
and it humors me.
The EVIL that is ME

Must post about job.
Must inform the legions of evil-doers that the great one, (that is me) still wreaks havoc daily where I claim my paycheck.

Dateline Friday
My new "supervisor" ( below me by 5 years seniority and experience) must give me an evaluation of my job performance. I couldn't help but giggle aloud to her about the whole comedic scene that it was, because wasn't it just a few minutes ago you were asking me how to complete one of the transactions? I asked her if , as my supervisor, she ranked a 5 out of a possible 5 on the evaluations, shouldn't that make me a perfect 7? If after all, she had to come to ME to learn how to do her job?
She is just nice enough to really let me tweak her brain.

I have realized what I do to myself. I take any job I get, twist it around to it's perfect, organizational and efficienct apex, and then it tires me. People get so used to my ability to accomplish the impossible that they fail to realize that I can not only out think them, I have already accomplished more with what I need to do, than what they were ever going to ask.

Now I'm not trying to be self-serving or a braggart about it, but how many people do you know that go to work only to do the same thing and be proud of filling 8-10 hours with something to pass the day? My goal is always to do it faster and more completely, taking less time than it should. work that is waiting on me drives me nuts. Ideally, my goal in any job is to be so efficient that I don't even have to be there to have my work completed.

Example....... My friend (that no longer works there - thanks jerkoffs) and I could work a seamless day, and have time leftover that we couldn't fill with work. We were completed. Nothing left to do. SOOOOO we decided, that as a bonus to us, for being such a fabulous team, we would switch on and off leaving at 1/2 a day, giving us each an extra half day off, and saving the BOSS $50.00 in wages. Quite efficient, no?
Evidently not. They seem to think that since we had time left over, we weren't completing all the necessary steps to completely immerse ourselves in meaningless paperchases.

We were years ahead of those drones. But alas, they will always be thinking inside the box.

I will continue on there, only until they stop humoring me with their collective idiocy. They can be quite a riot.
The clock is ticking.....

Our office has no computer equipped to redesign or format business forms, so all of our patient information was circa hand typewriter sometime from the mid 70's. I decided to take a bulk of it home, and freshen it up and bring it back to the future. Last week, I clocked 1.0 hour home time redesigning our fax phone number list, making it alphabetical, and legible. Not a big deal, I used my ink, my paper and my home time. (and it did take me an hour)

I received a note with my paycheck that from now on, all "homework" must first be pre-approved by my immediate supervisor.
1.0 hour?
I immediately called the main office and inquired why all of the sudden I couldn't be trusted to report my time from home.
"We have to watch costs" We need to know who is doing what"
Blah blah blah bullshit...
I told her to please deduct the cost of my hour off my next payroll check - I don't want to be the reason we go belly up.
She wasn't impressed, but do I care?
You hurt Pregnor, you pay.
I'm kind of itching to see who will have the mighty brass balls it will take to either seriously reprimand me, or fire me.
I bet they will find someone I respect (a rapidly decreasing population) to do it, and that will take the wind out of my sails.
But for now, it's a game I don't care if I lose,
and I am still winning.

In Dreams

I don't remember if I have mentioned my unfortunate ability to dream like a strung out PCP addict with DT's.
Some nights I get so little sleep, because of my dreams that I can hardly function the next day.

Imagine if you will, being cast as a lead role in the most bizzare movie plot you could ever imagine, and then having to
wake up and realize and try to categorize what has been rolling around in your head for the past 6 hours.

If anything is going to kill me, it will be bears. Grizzlies, Black, Brown you name it. It's always bears. Bears find me on vacation, walking home from school, they break into my house and accost my family. I have never personally been attacked or molested by a bear, I don't even give them much weight in the "scary" department, I'm really afraid of Opossums, now if they showed up, I could live with that. But they always seem to find me and give great chase trying to kill me. I've never been actually caught by one, but boy, it's been close.

I usually dream of things that are SO out of the ordinary for me. I dreampt (sp) recently that I was all decked out in hunting camoflague, and I shot Osama Bin Laden, who just so happenned to be traveling by foot through a small woods behind my house in North Central Indiana....
Unfortunately for me though, he had been bionically redesigned by the El Quaida to have a sub-skin made out of Kevlar. I merely stunned him, much to the dismay of the CIA agents who showed up at my home to collect him while I was sawing his head off with a bow saw. (I went to prison for that one. Seems as though they could understand me shooting him, but to saw his head off was a bit overboard I guess.) Fortunately for me, the dream did not continue on to jail, so I have no idea if I actually became anyones "bitch" or not. I got stares when I told my husband about it - I actually had to wake him up for that one.

I always dream about sheep. Usually something terrible is happenning to them, like the time the Tigers we raised (don't ask me, I just dream it) decided to eat all our lambs. Funny how I didn't consider that when I brought home the first of 4 breeding pairs of Bengal tigers. They seemed so tame.........

Sometimes I dream about being pregnant. Now I have NO desire to EVER be pregnant again. Some things are just better left to those who don't know what to expect. Me, I've been there, and I could have written the book. One dream I had, woke me up crying because I found out I was pregnant. Now I really, REALLY didn't want this baby, but abortion would be out of the question, and adoption wouldn't be feasable for a married couple. I knew I was stuck with this kid. I was moved in a bad way to tears. Then, after some time in my dream, I realized that not only was I pregnant, but my husband had a vasectomy. I was more upset about the pending diapers than having to explain to anyone who's child it was.

Last night was a doozy. In my dream, I was back working on Labor and Delivery at the hospital. We had a very busy night, and had several deliveries. Two of the new mom's decided that they didn't want their children (two boys) and since it was my turn, I had to take them home. I didn't know exactly what I was going to do with them, but I had thought of putting them on Ebay.
It makes one afraid to sleep.
I never dream about important things, like how to pay the housepayment, car insurance and license plates all in one month, or how to write the next Oscar winning script..... just crap. Crap that fills my head.

Sunday, April 7


It's done.
Today was a day of finishing projects.
I finished wallpapering my brother and future sister-in-law's house
The roof is completed
I finally found the bottom of my laundry hamper
I cleaned out our account of any available scrounging money.. (I smell overtime at the hell hole)
AND - I have blogged three entries in TWO days!

That's acccomplishments for you!

We are all physically and emotionally exhausted. My husband has it the worst though...all weekend long he was fretting about his friends being here helping. They were all glad to help, but he felt like a big imposition, and wanted to get them out of here, and back to their normal lives ASAP. Unfortunately the project wasn't cooperating and it took a coon's age to complete. He told me tonight that at lunch today he was nauseous with worry. I mean after all, you call your friend to help you move, to help you do piddly things that just one person can't do alone. He felt like he had asked too much.
Now HE would go on a week long trip to help a friend tie his shoes, but that didn't matter...he was the one asking for help.

All the guys and girls (it was nearly a neighborhood event, we had everyone who could walk doing something if they were foolish enough to show up and stand around long enough) worked their collective asses off and I bet they will think twice before answering a telephone call with our caller ID on it for the next few weeks.
So much for the weekend.

YEAY! I get to work again tomorrow.

Saturday, April 6


I forgot to add, that today is/was my husbands birthday. To illustrate my life as a cartoon, with another perfectly descriptive entry, I have to tell you about his present from me.

For EONS he has been harassing me to get another satellite receiver so the kids don't have to be subjected to his hunting shows, basketball games, etcetera.. Trying to make me see that our lives would be so much more enriched if we could watch the Sattelite in our bedroom instead of having to hold both TV's hostage with whatever he wanted to watch on satellite. (we have terrible reception of local channels and no, I was not referring to watching any ADULT channels) What I really think he wants to avoid is the 24 hour Disney channel the girls constantly watch.

So, as I like to do, I caved in and bought him one. I thought it would be the perfect time to give it to him, as he would already be on the roof, and he could just hook it right up.

He excitedly opened the box, took it all out, and then found that the major operative peice of equipment was not in the packaging.
The Card that will operate the damn thing.


Seems as though, Wal-Mart has a bad reputation for theives buying the satellite component, removing the cards and then returning the box without it. I bought him a ripped off Direct TV.
Man, was I ever popular.
The helpful gentleman on the 800 number was kind enough to issue me a new card, but it will be 7-10 business days before he can use it.
Happy Birthday honey.
heh heh heh

I rock
Man O MAN - where do I start?

I had better say, first of all that I am a wreck,
my house is a wreck,
my yard is a wreck,
my roof is a wreck. At least my roof is a wreck in progress, that should be completed tomorrow.

I just about had an emotional breakdown a few minutes ago, because I couldn't find my favorite dessert - I thought my family had eaten the last of it and I was about to call the suidice hotline, but I found the leftovers, stashed in the oven.
Saved by the bell.....
Now with my cappuccino and my cherry dump cake I can unravel the knots that I call my life ,for you, my loyal readers.

Tthe roof project began,as they all do... as a good idea, based on the fact that we discovered water running through the ceiling fan in the kitchen the last time it rained. We have a great insider deal - also based on the fact that my brother makes his living as a roofer. His off the cuff job quote fell into the range of "a several hundred bucks" for his supplies and that his labor would be free.


We signed right up for the deal. (which it is, no matter how you look at it)
Well, once the original shingles were torn off, they discovered cedar shakes, which is a roofer and a current homeowners nightmare, as they end up EVERYWHERE and are a general hassle. THEN some of the decking, well mostly all of it had to be replaced. THEN....and so on and so forth - you see how this is going.

GOD BLESS OUR FRIENDS... as they have shown up daily for three days running, just so we won't have water dripping on our little heads as we eat. I will file them all under the "owe BIG TIME" file.

One of the problems in having volunteer and family labor, is that there isn't anyone to yell at when things get messy. If I had hired someone to roof my house, I would expect them to clean up after themselves....if I yell now, they just throw whatever is handy, off the roof in the general direction of my head, which is okay, but it takes a lot of beer to reroof a house, and those bottles HURT!

That's okay - I wanted to relandscape the yard anyway.
I'd rather have to clean up here and there, than to add another $4,000.00 to my bill.

I do have the ultimate clean up crew - THANKS RACHEL!!!

She was in a manicial cleaning mood. Raking this, hauling that, toting those.....making me feel like some lounge princess because I really REALLY didn't want to even go out and see what damage had been done..And it was even MY house!
So I had to get off my duff, so she didn't make me look like a total loser
She even had me pulling weeds out of my flowerbeds..... I need that kind of forced labor sometimes. I was getting kind of used to the eclectic collection we were accumulating in our shrubs in the front of the house. There was a jug that used to be filled with bubble kids haven't blown bubbles for 6 years.....that tells you how long it's been there. There was a cereal bowl that I am sure fed a hungry cat at one time, a single glove, and a shattered hanging pot. There were other items, but mentioning them would only make me admit that they were there.
It's sometimes easier for me to just see it, wave and go on. After all, it wasn't hurting anything.

I retire from that job tonight, only to look forward to starting again tomorrow at 0600 for you military people.

Last weekend, we went ram shopping. We ended up buying a new one, and man is he Swwwwweeeeet. We are very happy to have him, and for what he cost, I'm hoping for his sake he IS all that. I won't say how much, because it is ridiculous, and I wouldn't spend that on nearly anything else, but heck... can't take it with you. (to jail, I mean) hee hee

Let all our friends who spent the past week in Florida be envious of me! Envy my pale ghostly body, and I HAVE A NEW ROOF - AND A NEW RAM!! waa haa to you!

We have consigned a few lambs to a sale next Sunday. It should be interesting. We've never done this before, and we are pretty apprehensive about parading our livestock around like it is worth something. I mean WE like them, but to take them somewhere and try to sell them is a big step. I'm not a big seller of anything. I need to learn, but getting used to it will be hard for me.

The sale should be interesting. It is intentionally set up to give average kids an apportunity to buy a decent lamb for a decent price. That's not to say there won't be exorbitant bids, but I like the premise. We go to lamb sales, and see lambs sell for $7, not everyone wants or needs a lamb like that. I feel bad for club members who really can't afford the price of lambs, but don't want to be at the bottom end of the show either. I guess you could say I'm a Pro-Bono sheep farmer.
(Don't let the Fed's hear me say that)

The beginning bid for lambs will be $80.00 I think that's cool. I would be happy to sell all we are taking for $80 each. I would also be thrilled if they all brought $2000, but lets be serious here. I would rather give someone a good deal, and have a customer for life than to rook someone on an overpriced lamb that didn't win what they expected.
Except I'm not a rook-er. I don't even do the garage sale thing, because I figure if I don't need it, HOW could I ask someone else to pay me for it?

yeah yeah - I'm a wonderful caring, decent person. Don't get used to it.
I'm going to bed to dream about winning the lotto...